Croatia part 3 (Sam)

Now I was by myself entirely and thought it was time to push on to try and get a little closer to Montenegro.

I was having a pretty cool time, I was dealing with the isolation much better and got into a good rhythm. My days tended to go like so, I would wake up early and try to leave by seven, I would go for 20 miles or so before stopping for coffee and food, do another 30 miles before stopping for lunch and a swim and then see how many more miles I could do in the afternoon.

I kept on like this for the next couple of days and saw some pretty amazing views along the coast. The main road runs right down the coast and made it easy to stop and go for a swim at lunch time.

I thought that being by myself would give me time to have some pretty intense introspection, really get to know myself blah blah blah. Instead I realised I think about rubbish 50% of the time.

I kept hearing Alan Partridge describe my new look and these lines kept repeating in my head for about two days.

Cycling shoes compel the wearer to adopt a dainty yet deceptively powerful  waddle, much like a large mallard duck. The cleats on the bottom of the shoe forces the wearer to take part in a raging battle with balance, the smallest pebble becomes your greatest enemy and may lead to many slips and  trips.

However once one’s balance has been mastered, your walk trascends to new level. Gone is the waddling mallard  and in its place a sawggering cowboy. Heads turn as as the clip clop of cleated shoes serve as a warning to all in town. The weaer now arrogantly struts into town like a drunken cowboy in a Clint Eastwood Western. The walk now subtlety bellows to all onlookers ‘Oh no hombre you got the wrong man, this cowboy means business!’

Tight lycra bib shorts ensure that the weaer is as aerodynamic as humanly possible, the wind cannot and will not slow you down. The bib shorts are multi-functional and double up as elegant swimming shorts, protecting your modesty whilst paying homage to the more classical style of mens swimwear, reminiscent of the 1920’s.

The torso is covered by a loose translucent white cotton shirt. This serves to protect the skin from the midday sun, whilst informing all those around you that, not only are you a sportsmen but a member of the intelligentsia, ready for philosophical debate at the drop of a hat.

Lastly, an equaliteral triangle has been cut from a dirty t shirt. Once attached with a safety pin across the bridge of the sunglasses, your nose is protected against the rage of the suns rays.

I also thought in great detail about how to harness the elements. I had talked to someone who said that the winds can get pretty powerful in deserts. I was obsessed with the idea of creating a sail like system to attach to the back of my bike so that I could be blown forwards, using as little energy as possible. Engineers of Wilder House, I am depending on you to make this dream a reality. I don’t have a concrete design yet any suggestions would be welcomed!

My days continued like this as I went towards the border of Montenegro. It blurs a little bit now, but Dubrovnik was really cool to have a look around and the sections of Croatia further inland were pretty amazing as well, it had a very different feel and seemed to be a bit quieter.

One thing I remember is just how hot it was all the time. I remember just drinking water constantly, but feeling like it didn’t do a thing. I had to stop in the shade just to rest and take in enough water.

After Dubrovnik it was not too far to the border of Montenegro!